*06.21.2003 - 11:19 p.m.*

Yes, not only am I updating, but this will be a LONG update!

Firstly, Canada!

Day One:
The drive there. We started driving at 5am on the 28th. On the way to pick up the 5th member of our troop of people sharing a hotel room (it was gonna be Me, Lis, Jon, Danielle, Stranger Brian, and Stranger Kodi) in Allantown, Lis pulled a U-turn infrom of the Allantown tollbooth because we missed the exit. It was Jon's fault though because he told her to do it. His reply "I'm a professional!"

At the Allantown rest stop, while waiting for Brian to show up, Lis deep-throated an ice pop (this is 7:30 am in the morning folks, cut us some slack, we're allowed to be slightly more nuts then usual), and because I was very bored, I wrote a note on a piece of paper, put it into a little plastic ball thingie (like in the toy/gum machines) and left it in the rest room. The note read:
"You've just read a note you found in a bathroom stall. You now have something to tell your friends about later. Please put this back so others can share the experience."

Brian finally showed up at about 9am (2 hours of waiting in Allantown's rest stop), and he brought walkie talkies. Since he was caravanning us, we were able to communicate much better with the walkie talkies. Props to Brian for that. Getting back on the road was rather unevenful. We pulled another u-turn in front of a toll booth because we missed the exit. We got Homie Dolls at another rest stop. We finally got to the Canadian border at around 2:30. While we waited, the car and everything in it got strip searched. They left nothing unchecked. Even the engine.

At 3:30 we got back on the road, now in Canada, and headed to Ottowa. And we saw rocks...and trees...and trees...and rocks...and rocks...and trees...and trees...and rocks...and rocks...and trees...and trees...and rocks...and rocks...and trees...and trees...and rocks...and water.

Then I have an epiphany. We were Americans in Canada...that meant that we were Canadian aliens. At that point I annouced to the rest of our car that I was an alien.

The rest of the drive was unneventful. Five Canadian boys passed us and made faces at us. Their licence plate was "THE SASA". We thought that was funny.

We got to the hotel. We got the room. Brian and Jon both brough air mattresses (Brian brought a single, Jon a double), so we set up camp. Danielle and I got the bed. Brian set up his air matress at the foot off the bed. Jon and Lis pushed the table and chair back and set up their air matress next to the bed. After that, I crashed while they all went out to eat.

Day Two:
We missed Kodi. We were supposed to pick him up from the bus stop and he wasn't there. We waited all day, but no sign of him. I slept on my neck wrong and couldn't turn my head to the left. Consequently, I spent most of the day in the room reading. Lis found out that she had fans when she went to get her badge for the con and 3 girls there saw her and exclaimed "It's Lizardbeth!" Lis wound up selling two prints, and drawing a con badge for $20 CND that day. Danielle and Jon, or Contessa and Seoken as they named themselves walked around checking out the con and everything it had to offer. For food, Lis, Jon, and Danielle, went across the street to the mall to find this shop called "Market Place" that sold vegan food for Danielle. Hummus and bagels for all!

I was able to procure some Aerobars, Smarties, Kinder Chocolate Eggs, and Bengay for my neck.

At the chocolate social that night, one person came in a gryphon costume with working wings. It was an *AWESOME* costume. Lis had chocolate and drew an uber-scary attack fetus for me. That's when a fellow artist came up with the fantastically wonderful "Someone is having too much chocolate...and fetuses."

Day Three:
Jon and Lis.

Jon and Lis again.

Way To Go present from Danielle and me.

After all that we went to the YERF party that was supposed to be dry. Now, the legal drinking age in Canada is 19. The party wasn't dry. No one got drunk and everyone had fun. I started a story and Jon had some fun adding in a part or two. At around 11pm I went upstairs and went to sleep.

Day Four:
Jon and Lis waking me up at midnight.

Jon and Lis.

Everyone coming back to the room at around 1am and going to sleep.

Later that day Lis got tipsy off the Smirnoff Ice that Jon had procured at the mall. We tried an interesting new method of sobering her up, that she got a kick out of.

At the Final Dance of the con, Danielle posed the question "How do you tip a Canadian stripper?" The $1 and $2 are coins with $5 and $10 bills. The answers we got from various Canadian men were:
1)They gather up the $1 and $2 coins throwns at them.
2)They work harder for the bills.
3)Canadian beer is stronger, hence, the men get drunker and they don't know how much they're tipping anyway.

Danielle and I finished up the evening talking to a man named Warhorse who had recently got activated and was being shipped out to Kuwait shortly after he got back from the con. We wished him luck.

Day Five:
The drive home. We got all packed up, all souvineers bought, and started driving home. We almost got lost in Canada, nearly winding up in Toronto, but we pulled another U turn and got back on track. The Toronto thing was all my fault.

Getting home was a LOT faster then driving there. Mostly because we were able to drive faster. Brian liked a top speed of 70mph, so to make sure we didn't lose him, we had to float between 65 and 70. On the drive home, we were able to do a normal 75 to 80mph. Jon and Lis crashed at my place for a little while before then continued driving back, and Danielle was picked up by her Bill soon after we got back to my place. All in all, it was a very very very very (x100) fun trip, and we all agreed to do it again next year. Lis made over $200 CND selling her art.

Epilogue:

Jon and Lis was rudely disrupted when Lynne came back in the picture. See previous entries about Jon, Lynne, and Lauren for details.