*02.16.2004 - 6:59 a.m.*

I think I've probably written about this before, but I thought about it yesterday and I'm going to write it again.

I was working in the cafe yesterday when a kid, probably around my sister's age, came up and asked how much a Snapple was.

This kid was round. We're talking a baby fat and todler fat and small child fat, etc. Complete with bright eyes and chipmunk cheeks. My first thought was "Aww...what a cute kid." My second thought was "But what is he gets teased because he's chubby? What if he doesn't want to be that way but doesn't know how to stop it? What if his Mom or Dad or both parents don't know how to make him eat right either?" Etc. along those same lines of thought.

I guess the reason I think like that is because I love kids. All kinds of kids, but because I was chubby when I was a kid, and still am, I'll perpetually feel like "the fat kid". No matter how much I exercise, or how much I watch what I eat, I'll still see myself in that kid's shoes yesterday.

Please note, I do not think I'm fat. Feeling like "the fat kid" and thinking your fat are two different things. I know I'm not fat. I know I'm overweight, but not grossly. And if you look at my entire family, I'm fighting those gene's every step of the way.

The hard part is making sure that it doesn't consume every thought. That I'm not so totally fixated on how I look or how much weight I've lost.

I don't really have a point here, this was just something I was thinking about yesterday as I served everyone their cookies, cakes, espresso drinks, and gallon after gallon of coffee.