*08.17.2004 - 10:45 a.m.*

Wow...really too much has been happening. Really. The world needs to just chill for a couple days.

Dave's mom died yesterday at 5:40am. Her two year battle with multiple myeloma is over. Dave, his brother Mike, and his Dad all went to Florida this morning to bury her. There will be a memorial service when they get back. Everyone is taking it really well.

There are so many things I want to say about Dave's Mom. Mrs. Simpson was a very cool lady. She loved to cook and was always willing to share recipies and books. She loved shipping magazines and books to her friends and sister in law. She loved taking care of her kids.

I'm not sure what I'll miss most about her. The few times she actually cooked a meal from scratch, the food was amazing, and I'll definitely miss that.

She got diagnosed with cancer I think in June or July of 2002. So, Dave and I had only been dating four or five months at that point, and I hadn't eaten much at their house yet. After she was diagnosed, her home cooked meals were few and far between. I think I understand now why Dave chose to eat dinner at home, even if his mom only made Meal In A Box. It's not so much the meal, but the fact that his mom was able to cook it. I wish I had understood that earlier.

I'll miss Mrs. Simpson's rituals. It seemed like she had rituals and traditions for everything. At Christmas, it was the bells. At Passover, it was going to their Uncle and Aunt's house and bringing "The Cake". Every Jewish family knows the "The Cake". The Cake that has to be there at every gathering because the family likes it so much. Even when she was sick, and couldn't do these little life long rituals, she would tell me about them.

I will miss finding expired food and drugs from the 1980s and 1990s. Mrs. Simpson was a pack rat in every possible way, and my favorite story is asking for Tylenol, and discovering that the expiration date was 1987.

I will miss her yelling up the stairs.

I will miss her trying to make Dave, Mike, and Dr. Simpson "behave" at the dinner table.

I will miss her then insisting that she raised her boys better then that.

As much as I'll miss her, I'm glad that she's not in pain anymore. She always felt horrible when she wasn't able to cook or clean or even help around the house. She didn't like being waited on. She hated being weak.

The house will be cleaned, like she had wanted to do.

The books will be organized, like she had tried to accomplish.

The house will be neat and spotless, just like it "used to be."

But it won't be like it use to.

Dave's afraid that after the house is clean, and the books and papers and effects are organized that the house will feel barren. I can't say that that's a ridiculous notion. As messy as things were (and as much as Mrs. Simpson hated the mess), it felt homey, and lived in, and alive.

I'm going to miss Mrs. Simpson. She had a presence about her, a throw back to 1950s and 1960s stay at home Mom-ness. She loved being a wife and a mom, and she loved knowing the neighborhood kids and watching them grow. I have a feeling that wherever her spirit, soul, whatever you want to call it is now, she's still going to be watching and feeling proud of her boys.

And nagging a little, for good measure.