*04.21.2005 - 9:51 a.m.*

Going to the gym tonight instead of this morning. I need to time to clean and think before presentations and classes.

It's hard to believe everyone's graduating.

Because I'm not.

I've been going to school with Lis and Meg and Tyska and Emily, for the past 4 years. I should be graduating. I should be done. But I'm not.

And I feel like a loser. Because I'm not walking with my friends. I'll be walking with people who were still in high school when I was entering college.

I walked around campus yesterday, feeling nostalgic. I remembered first seeing the campus, I remember Lis and I claiming our "buildings" (her's was the art building, mine the old science colmplex). I remember living in TW, I remember helping Lis sneak in through her ABE window when she forgot her keys. I remember CA Brian. I remember Sean always visiting. I remember 9-11...not in the normal plane crashing sense, but how the campus and the whole group of us acted afterward. I remember watching the MTV Music Awards with Michael Jackson's comeback. I remember all the roomate dramas, I remember the clove and fruit game. I remember walking around campus at midnight. I remember Anime Saturdays. I remember our illegal little fight club.

What will I be taking away from college besides memories? What have I actually learned?

Why did I spend four years, and now a fifth year of my life at this institution? Just to get ahead in the world? Because it was the next logical step towards grad school?

This is probably all normal BS that graduates go through, but I felt compelled to write.

Everything changes, as much as we wish things wouldn't.

I hope we all stay in touch. I hope none of us drift so far that we forget.

Were these the best years of our lives? I don't know. At times, I thought they could be, and at others I knew they weren't.